I admit it. I couldn’t resist the temptation to discuss Tolari mating habits on Wednesday. I could have posted tomorrow, but I won’t. I’m giggling too much over this.

Okay, so seriously.

If you’ve read The Marann, you know that the Tolari are descended from Earth. I wanted romance to be possible, and the idea that two sexually-compatible species could evolve independently on two completely different planets was just more than I could swallow.

Humans who have been altered to live on another planet, now, that’s a whole ‘nuther matter. Much more plausible. The Tolari have been tinkered with. It made them empaths, and as such they form empathic bonds with each other.

The parental bond is, as the name implies, the bond shared between a parent and a child. It is essential to Tolari children; without it, they die. With it, a Tolari child receives all the love and support they need from their one parent. Here’s how it works.

As soon as their brain develops in the womb, they bond with their mother. This bond persists until the age of ~6 seasons (3 Earth years) in boys and ~10 seasons (5 Earth years) in girls. Then it dissolves, and one of two things can happen:
1) If the child is the mother’s heir, she re-bonds immediately.
2) If the child is the father’s heir, he steps in and bonds with the child. The mother is no longer needed.
In either case, the second bond persists until it disappears naturally in late adolescence or early adulthood.

The pair bond is optional. This bond is always in the context of an adult sexual relationship. Some Tolari shun it. Others embrace it. It is a conscious choice, and two Tolari in love can live their whole lives together without it if they choose. With it, they feel each other’s emotions as if they were their own, and sex with the bond is ecstatic. For a bonded Tolari, having sex with someone other than their partner is about as interesting as oatmeal.

Pair-bonding is permanent. If one of a bonded pair dies, the surviving partner will often either die or go into the dark. If they choose to live, they are incapable of ever bonding again. They live as a shadow of their former selves.

Because of this, Tolari are not even allowed to pair-bond until they have a legally declared heir — one old enough to survive if they die. Rulers can make exceptions to this on a case by case basis within their provinces. If a ruler wants to break the rule him/herself, he or she needs permission from the planetary ruler. If the planetary ruler wants to break the rule, he or she consults the Jorann.

“But the Sural didn’t consult the Jorann before he bonded with Marianne!” you cry.
“Oh yes, he did,” says I, with an evil grin. “Think about it.”

 Moving right along.

There is a ruling bond. It also is optional, but it is preferred. The Sural is a bonded ruler. The Jorann facilitates and creates this bond, which binds a ruler to his people and his province and strips him of his name. With this bond, he is much more invested in his people’s welfare, but he will pay a heavy price for it: if he leaves his province, he will weaken and, eventually, die. This is why Tolari rulers use their heirs as ambassadors: their heirs, since they are not bonded to their people yet, are free to travel. Bonded rulers only leave their provinces for very serious reasons.

There are other bonds, but I won’t spoil that yet.

So, how does this affect Tolari reproductive behavior?

When the Tolari settled on Tolar, their population was very small. Small enough that genetic testing was a part of the process of selecting a mate, and it was encouraged to have a different mate as the other parent for each child, to maximize the number of different genetic matches. By the time the population had covered the planet and stabilized, genetic analysis had become the accepted practice. If a Tolari decided to produce an heir, they sought out the very best genetic match possible for the one heir they were allowed to have. Reproduction and love relationships came to have nothing to do with each other.

Naturally, Marianne doesn’t like this one bit, but Marianne is a human from a traditionally Western culture. The Sural frankly doesn’t understand why she has a problem with it. He’s bonded to her. She knows, at all times, how he feels, and since their hearts are joined, he doesn’t want anyone else. If he gives a child to another woman, it has nothing to do with his feelings and everything to do with his duty to Suralia. Men actually have fewer choices in the matter than women do — especially men of high status and high genetic potential. Like the Sural.

Stay tuned, my friends, because things are going to get strange in Suralia.

Happy Hump Day!